Devotion

eDEN#6 Levi Action Slax

Name: The Reverend Levi Action Slax. Star sign: Capricorn. To be the biggest show-off in town you have to be a goat.

ARE YOU ON A MISSION FROM GOD? I am God. I was contacted by space aliens to spread the funk. I'll rule the world from the State of Utopia. YOUR POLICIES? True democracy. Freedom of speech, no constraints on thought or action. Freedom of platforms. ANY ADVICE TO 1ST TIME PLATFORM WEARERS? Get yo'self some stabilisers. If you fall, you can hurt yo'self very bad, but the Reverend has the Layin'On of the hands. I lay my hands on those foxy chicks and they recover. They can feel it - they feel the Reverend Levi entering their soul and healing them. (Heal.. Heal) If they can't dance, they come and I heal them too. ARE YOU A LAYDEEZ'MAN? When The Reverend Levi feels he has to spread the word, he invites all the young girls who've been naughty during the week to come forward and he cleanses their souls. I chastise them and they confess. The ones with the best confessions get the most attention and the Reverend gets a different chick every night. That's how Levi works. DO YOU HAVE A MESSAGE FOR OUR FEMALE READERS? Yeah. People been getting the wrong idea 'bout Levi.They say he's just after the foxy chicks for their bodies, but it's the mind of the chicks that he's after and what's on them, and I know what's on most of their minds... and I know what's on yours babe. DOES THE REV. LEVI HAVE A COLLECTION PLATE ON THE DAY OF WORSHIP? Only thing I collect is Cherryade. No, make that Cherry. C.H.E.R.R.Y. IF LEE MAJORS IS THE 6 MILLIONS DOLLARS MAN, WHAT'S THE PRICE ON YOUR HEAD? What's money? Money ain't where it's at. I don't dirty my hands with that, man. I got people walking behind me with barrels of the stuff. WILL WE SEE AN ACTION SLAX DOLL? Damn right-with swivel hips and sexual organs. He'll talk, he'll walk, but above all, he'll squirt. WILL HE HAVE EAGLE EYES? No, he'll have Evil Eyes. WHAT DO YOU HATE MOST ABOUT THE SEVENTIES? The 80s, man. They got in the way between then and now. WHICH ONE OF CHARLIE'S ANGELS GIVES THE BEST HEAD? Charlie, the guy you never see, 'cause he's got no teeth. BOSLEY? No, man. His breath stank of cigars. DESCRIBE YOUR LOVE PAD... Man, I got bacofoil for wallpaper and astroturf for carpet. The bed's in the shape of a big heart, with black satin sheets and leopardskin love mounds. CAN I HAVE YOUR BABIES? Why, sure. Now lie down bitch, and prepare to witness God's second coming. ADELAIDE DUGDALE